I have really been sucking at writing lately. Mainly because I haven’t been in spiritual warfare in a while. I’m just going to write something that’s been on my mind for a while now. It’s about why I quit one of my very favorite passions. I’m going to start this story from 2 years ago.
In early 2014, I bought a Nikon D5100 camera with a 35mm fixed lens. I purchased the camera originally for $400 (if I remember correctly) where the value was around $800. Others invested into my passion for videography with an assortment of microphones, batteries, tripods, and other toys.
The whole reason why I invested so much money in this hobby was to simply worship God.
Before the World Race, I watched every video that was out there pertaining to this magnificent trip. I saw how the world was captured through a moving lens. Life was on my computer screen through cultures, food, villages, cities, children, disabled adults, churches, different religions, tight highways, abandoned citadels, and the movement that these young people were on.
I was really trying to get a confirmation to actually go on this trip. So I told God that if I am going to go on the World Race, then he needs to show me another way to worship him. Because I was so tired of what church had showcased to me on how to worship. Then, BOOM. He gave me a nifty camera right before my Training Camp, and I was able to capture life. I captured all of the things that Papa has blessed us with. From faces to blades of grass.
During my time on the World Race, I struggled with keeping my attention on the Lord while I was shooting. Because in the back of my mind, I wanted to have a featured video on the organization’s website.
I wanted to see my name in gold.
But I still had the heart to worship the Father. So from Eastern Europe to Southern Africa to Asia, I found the life that God wanted me to show others. I made some really great videos. And they got better as time went on. I was truly worshipping. Then the end of the Race came, and I made one last video depicting the life of E Squad.
I got a notification a couple weeks later that my video was shared on the World Race Facebook page! Wow. That was exciting. The caption read, “This is one of the most epic videos we have ever seen!” I freaked out. But then my excitement dwindled. This video that I spent the most time on – that I put my all into – wasn’t even a featured video. More than a year and 20 videos about this program, and not a single one was good enough.
But God was trying to show me how proud he was of me. But I just pouted because I wasn’t as known as I could have been. Time went on, and I wasn’t picking up my camera. I was already angry enough at God for everything else I went through for a year. I eventually shot a few weddings, but my passion for videography went away.
I decided that the time when I pick my camera up again, will be when I pick worship up again.
It was hard. So many people have wanted me to do things for them, and I couldn’t. I was damaging their production and my relationship with the Lord. But I pushed through and found a deep understanding of worship. You don’t need to do some act in order to worship him. Playing an instrument, painting, singing, or even writing won’t help me worship God. It’s all about where my heart is turned.
I’m sitting here on the ground of my room worshipping God right now! All because I want to worship him.
In my ramblings to you, I have discovered that my name has always been written in gold. It was simply a matter of choosing to see it.
With that story, I would like to tell you all that I have officially picked up my camera again! I’m beginning a new project now that CGA is ending. One that I’m hoping to share by next week. Stay tuned, my family.
